Why Attend the Reunion?

September 7, 2015 - Don Williams

There are a number of reasons people give for not attending class reunions:  1) “Classmates only talk about themselves – their high-paying jobs, their perfect kids and the villa in Tuscany,” 2) “There’s not enough time and there’s too many people to really have good discussions with everyone,” 3) “The cost is too high,” 4) “Nobody I knew will be there ”and 5) (the most telling for me) “I prefer to look forward and have new experiences rather than dwell on the past.”  

1. My wife had to drag me to our first college reunion.  Once there, I found it to be an enriching experience with none of the one-upsmanship that I had feared.  Most classmates were good listeners, interested in hearing life experiences and tips for navigating life’s shoals.  
2. Reunions are a rare opportunity to interact with old friends with a wealth of shared experiences and a common background.  Little time is wasted on chit-chat; conversations can start at a much higher level and get interesting quickly.  Five minutes of conversation with Ted Schroeder on the phone one day provided key insight about reason 5) (more about that below).  The tentative format of the reunion (barbecue Friday night, Basking Ridge Firehouse for catered Saturday lunches and dinners – no band) is designed to optimize classmate interaction time.
3. We understand that transportation and lodging costs are high for some classmates and that many of us are retired and living on fixed income.  Bob Clear has volunteered to host the Friday night barbecue at his home in Mendham (no charge) and use of the Firehouse will save substantial venue costs.   You will be receiving more information shortly about cost as we pin down the Firehouse, date and caterer.
4. My biggest surprise at reunions has been that everyone, even those I didn’t know well, had interesting life stories to share, insightful perspective and a friendliness that could only come from our shared background.  New friendships have formed and I always look forward to rekindling them at subsequent reunions.  
5. While it is true that one shouldn’t dwell on the past, Ted Schroeder pointed out to me that it is the “degree to which the past governs our lives” that is the key.  It is important for personal growth to seek new experiences and friendships but it is equally valuable to treasure old friendships and the interactions that only they can provide.

There are three teachers (Mr. Sabol – English, Mr. Smith – Phys Ed and Mr. Meys – History, Guidance and Class of ’66 Advisor) who have expressed high interest in attending.  It might be worth the trip just to thank a special teacher for a job well done.

Finally, there is an ever-longer list of classmates who are no longer with us.  Their memory would be honored by your presence, remembering their lives and giving thanks for their influence on yours.

From a personal standpoint, I am very thankful for the great teachers that we had at Ridge and for the great classmates who helped mold my life.  We should celebrate that relationship, for it is unique.

Don Williams